Hello.
I'm just another 19 year old trying to figure out who I am and what this life is about. My name also happens to be Kate. :)Doubts.
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So, you know how I've been going around saying that I want to have nothing to do with Early Childhood education? Yeah, well, I might just have to eat my words.
I've been giving Lydia tuition for English and Math and I just realised how much I enjoy it? Without the pressure of completing set worksheets and a strict curriculum, it's actually really incredible to be a part of helping a kid learn. The littlest things make my heart so happy. Like, when she can finally write the small letter "a", when she gets excited about what she's accomplished during our time together, and when she is willing to write "chocolate, vanilla, apple(???), and strawberry ice-cream" for the book she wrote to introduce her family - even though she's often hesitant to write just about anything because she's scared of making mistakes.
Maybe giving private tuition to Kindergarteners could be a thing I do in the foreseeable future. Or maybe I'm just enjoying this so much because her dad just lets me do my thing and trusts that I can help her improve instead of breathing down my neck going "what are you doing? How can this help? Are you sure it will work?" And, as a result, I feel like I can help Lydia learn to enjoy the process of learning - which, in my opinion, is so much more important than getting almost instantaneous results. Learning is a lifelong thing, why ruin it for her when she's only five?
Anyway, after tutoring in the morning, I went home to work on the research assignment. I have lost count of how many times "I HATE YOU" has popped up in my mind within these three hours. It's not that I don't want to find out what all these data I've collected will prove in the research, but it's just. So. Much. Data.
I'm actually using two laptops as I work on this assignment???
So, yeah, I'm having a difficult time trying to put together all these information and an even worse time trying to understand it. Which is making me seriously doubt whether I still want to study Psychology because statistics and research skills are so vital when studying Psychology.
A huge part of me is like "yeah, why not just study it? You may not be good at all of this now, but that's what school is for! You'll have lecturers and other students who can help you. Plus, why would you want to give up this dream of studying Psychology you've had for almost five years when you have the opportunity to do it now?!"
However, I am also aware that I have quite a lot to lose if I don't do well enough. Like, $76K a lot. Also, what if I try my absolute hardest but I'm actually just not intelligent enough to fully grasp the concepts? Like, what if I thought I got it but, in reality, there's actually a lot that I couldn't comprehend? I mean, being able to understand and enjoy articles on PsychologyToday is probably not exactly the same as understanding Psychology on an academic basis. And by not exactly, I mean not at all.
I might be overthinking all of this. Or I may not. Who knows? What if my version of overthinking is someone else's version of normal- or under-thinking? What even is normal thinking? I have never met a single person who is not even a little bit weird. Maybe weird is the normal.
I've been giving Lydia tuition for English and Math and I just realised how much I enjoy it? Without the pressure of completing set worksheets and a strict curriculum, it's actually really incredible to be a part of helping a kid learn. The littlest things make my heart so happy. Like, when she can finally write the small letter "a", when she gets excited about what she's accomplished during our time together, and when she is willing to write "chocolate, vanilla, apple(???), and strawberry ice-cream" for the book she wrote to introduce her family - even though she's often hesitant to write just about anything because she's scared of making mistakes.
Maybe giving private tuition to Kindergarteners could be a thing I do in the foreseeable future. Or maybe I'm just enjoying this so much because her dad just lets me do my thing and trusts that I can help her improve instead of breathing down my neck going "what are you doing? How can this help? Are you sure it will work?" And, as a result, I feel like I can help Lydia learn to enjoy the process of learning - which, in my opinion, is so much more important than getting almost instantaneous results. Learning is a lifelong thing, why ruin it for her when she's only five?
Anyway, after tutoring in the morning, I went home to work on the research assignment. I have lost count of how many times "I HATE YOU" has popped up in my mind within these three hours. It's not that I don't want to find out what all these data I've collected will prove in the research, but it's just. So. Much. Data.
I'm actually using two laptops as I work on this assignment???
So, yeah, I'm having a difficult time trying to put together all these information and an even worse time trying to understand it. Which is making me seriously doubt whether I still want to study Psychology because statistics and research skills are so vital when studying Psychology.
A huge part of me is like "yeah, why not just study it? You may not be good at all of this now, but that's what school is for! You'll have lecturers and other students who can help you. Plus, why would you want to give up this dream of studying Psychology you've had for almost five years when you have the opportunity to do it now?!"
However, I am also aware that I have quite a lot to lose if I don't do well enough. Like, $76K a lot. Also, what if I try my absolute hardest but I'm actually just not intelligent enough to fully grasp the concepts? Like, what if I thought I got it but, in reality, there's actually a lot that I couldn't comprehend? I mean, being able to understand and enjoy articles on PsychologyToday is probably not exactly the same as understanding Psychology on an academic basis. And by not exactly, I mean not at all.
I might be overthinking all of this. Or I may not. Who knows? What if my version of overthinking is someone else's version of normal- or under-thinking? What even is normal thinking? I have never met a single person who is not even a little bit weird. Maybe weird is the normal.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
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