Hello.
I'm just another 19 year old trying to figure out who I am and what this life is about. My name also happens to be Kate. :)Moving on.
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I'm done being upset with people that don't matter anymore. They no longer deserve my time of day and there are more important things to focus on. I believe in giving second chances but since they didn't treasure theirs, I guess it's goodbye forever.
I don't blame them for what they did because I'm sure they had their reasons for acting like pieces of shit, but that doesn't mean I like it or have to allow them to keep hurting me. Sigh.
Whatever, I just hope they grow up someday.
Anyway, CNY has been okay. It felt like everything just went by in a blur. But that might be because I was pretty drugged up on medication the entire time hur.
I've been wondering, why the heck do I dress to impress every CNY? And why do I feel the need to take pictures of what I wore for everyone on Instagram to see? Do I really care about what they think of my fashion choices? Would it be rude if I didn't dress up? I say that it's fun and that I like dressing up, but do I really? What if I just do it because I want compliments? Or, if not that, I do it because I'm scared of being judged or labelled the "ugly sister" in my family? Why does what I look on the outside even matter??? I mean, it's not like people remember what I wear, right? I just assume that people are usually too busy worrying about how others think about them to care about other people all that much. So, why do I care????? It's not like anyone's thinking of me??????????
Meh whatever I'm just going to go to school tomorrow in a big sweater, shorts, and a bun and be all comfy and not dressed up and enjoy fading into the background once more. Two days of having people I don't remember giving me compliments is enough. I mean, it feels like they're just complimenting the mask that I put up and not me so nothing really came through lol. NO MORE. Tell me I look tired. And sick. And that my hair is a mess. Idc. Because I actually feel like all those things.
Honestly a pretty bad photo but eh whatever.
I don't blame them for what they did because I'm sure they had their reasons for acting like pieces of shit, but that doesn't mean I like it or have to allow them to keep hurting me. Sigh.
Whatever, I just hope they grow up someday.
Anyway, CNY has been okay. It felt like everything just went by in a blur. But that might be because I was pretty drugged up on medication the entire time hur.
I've been wondering, why the heck do I dress to impress every CNY? And why do I feel the need to take pictures of what I wore for everyone on Instagram to see? Do I really care about what they think of my fashion choices? Would it be rude if I didn't dress up? I say that it's fun and that I like dressing up, but do I really? What if I just do it because I want compliments? Or, if not that, I do it because I'm scared of being judged or labelled the "ugly sister" in my family? Why does what I look on the outside even matter??? I mean, it's not like people remember what I wear, right? I just assume that people are usually too busy worrying about how others think about them to care about other people all that much. So, why do I care????? It's not like anyone's thinking of me??????????
Meh whatever I'm just going to go to school tomorrow in a big sweater, shorts, and a bun and be all comfy and not dressed up and enjoy fading into the background once more. Two days of having people I don't remember giving me compliments is enough. I mean, it feels like they're just complimenting the mask that I put up and not me so nothing really came through lol. NO MORE. Tell me I look tired. And sick. And that my hair is a mess. Idc. Because I actually feel like all those things.
Honestly a pretty bad photo but eh whatever.
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